How to Build a Tent
by Chibi Pyralspite
Summary: Kurt helps Finn build a tent


**How to build a tent. **

Aka how to keep your son and his boyfriend busy, so Finn can ask questions about his sex life.

The door was shut with a loud gust of wind and Finn and Burt entered from the back door. They had been bickering as they did so, arguing over which part should have gone wear and which part should have been whacked over the others head. As they discussed the different items Kurt had appeared in the kitchen, his boyfriend following him like the obedient boy he was. He didn't say any to the others because they were in crazy, ultimate flirt mode. Whenever they were people tried and stayed as far as they could away from the two because it was bound to be no good. The last time it happened Finn got so mad he ended up getting Blaine sent home.

Burt looked at the two as Blaine's arm snaked its way around Kurt's waist and pulled him closer. He didn't like the two flirting much each because Burt definitely didn't want to have the _sex_ talk again. Burt looked over to Finn who gave him a little nod and it was apparent what the must do.

"Where are you guys heading off to?" Burt's voice came as he headed over to the kitchen drawer to find a tool he needed and handed it over to Finn.

"Nowhere. We were going to get a snack and go watch some Logo."

"Yep, I finally conned my way into getting Kurt sort of okay with _those_ kind of movies." Blaine smirked.

"Can you guys do me a favor?"

Kurt moved from Blaine and over to his dad. "What is it?"

"Well I was trying to show Finn how to build a tent but he just won't pay attention. I know it's windy out and everything but could you help him?"

Kurt looked over to Finn with a glare. "Fine. Did you get far?"

"I showed him how to locate flat ground and to put the stakes in the ground."

"That's it?"

"He broke one of the stakes."

"How on earth do you break them? The ones we have are metal!"

Finn only shrugged his shoulders as he put down the hammer in his hand and moved to go make a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich.

"So you'll help him?" Burt asked.

"Now?"

"Well he's going on a camping trip this weekend and I thought if he learned then it'd be better for him and the guys."

"Fine." Kurt pouted and grabbed Blaine and headed out back.

Kurt was fussing with the tent as Finn came back outside with the hammer he had placed down earlier. He the peanut-butter stuck over his lips as he tried speaking and it only came out in mumbles. He walked over to Kurt who then explained to him how to lay out the tent and how to tie it to the stakes and even how to pull the pieces inside of the holes to give the tent its shape.

Finn was too busy staring at Blaine, who was looking at Kurt as he bent down to shove the stakes into the ground.

"Finn, take the hammer and secure these in." Kurt spoke and after no response or movement he turned over to look at Finn. "What are you doing?"

He finished his sandwich and wiped the peanut-butter from his mouth. "Why is Blaine staring at you?" He then took the hammer and began to hammer in the metal pieces into the ground.

"What kind of question is that?"

"I'm pretty sure he's staring at your ass. Have you guys had sex yet?"

"What?" Kurt tried to calm down. "I'm not going to talk to you about my love and sex life while we're building a tent."

"Those guys in that movie did." He nodded.

"Finn. That was a movie aka not real."

"But I'll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours." He turned to pull at the strings to make sure they were secure on one side, then moving counter-clockwise to continue with the stakes.

"Did my dad ask you to spy on me? Is that why he wanted me to help you so you can ask me these things?"

Finn laughed. "I know it was awkward getting the 'sex talk' from him but do you really think he's going to talk you about all your sexual encounters?"

Kurt stood up straight. "What the hell do you think I am a monkey?"

"What do monk—nevermind."

"Besides I don't even want to know what you and Quinn or Rachel or whoever you're dating this week do. I don't get why I'm the one getting the sex talk when you're the one dating."

"Well didn't Burt walk in on you and Blaine in your quote 'hot and sexy make out session' unquote."

"You've been talking to Brittany, haven't you."

"Maybe."

Kurt rolled his eyes and moved across the tent and began to push the pieces under the tent to bring it up.

"Come on, you aren't going to tell me?"

"Okay, but it's a secret. Every night I sneak over to Blaine's and we have hot, gay bondage sex. When you're not home we sneak onto your bed and fuck on it every single night. Sometimes we even do it in the shower so that's not shampoo in your hair. " He gave a small giggle and set down the pieces and walked away back over to Blaine, leaving a small peck on the lips and headed back inside the house.

"Wait...really?" Finn asked and then began to call after Kurt, following the twosome as they made their way back inside.

They never did finish the tent.


End file.
